Our scribe salutes the bravery of the civil service

While the economy falls apart, and Labour digs in (for crudely political reasons) over an inquiry into the grooming, rape and torture of vulnerable teenage girls, one can always depend on the civil service for some light relief.

Swift’s eye was caught by a piece in the Telegraph announcing that staff in that cutting-edge government body, the Land Registry, that officials would go on an effective work -to-rule over the request to return to the office for no less than three days per week.

This was described by the inaptly named Public and Commercial Services trade union – whose members  deliver very little in the way of either – as ‘Victorian’.

Swift has heard of the concept of stretching a term, but he seems to remember that the common idea that employees should attend the office for five days per week was suspended in March 2020 when the initial lockdown was implemented (there were subsequently more).

Queen Victoria, however, expired, mourned by a grateful nation, on 22 January 1901, some time before this scandalous requirement to come to work for at least part of the week was imposed by the iron heel of Land Registry management.

Perhaps ‘Victorian’ was a little ill-chosen?

Luckily for these brave officials resisting such tyranny, the Land Registry doth not stand alone. Employees of the Office of National Statistics, without whose endeavours we would have neither food, water, nor transport – or at least the measure of these commodities – have backed a full strike against the draconian demand that they should pop into the workplace for two days per week.

Over Christmas Swift re-read Dickens’ A Christmas Carol’. Ebeneezer Scrooge might have taken a more sceptical view on Bob Cratchit suggesting that he could work from home, looking after Tiny Tim notwithstanding. In fact he would have fired him on the spot.

Swift can write from experience here, having been an official himself. Even in those days before working from home became acceptable, government offices were deserted before 9am, while at 5pm one risked being trampled in the corridors of the Treasury building, as eager filing clerks raced for Westminster tube. He once decided to stay an hour or so late to finish a long-forgotten report, only to be interrupted after ten minutes by a concerned superior with a furrowed brow asking after his levels of stress.

Being a civil servant is a relatively unpressurised existence with comfortable hours, a generous pension, and these days actually a rather decent salary – especially outside the metropolis. Is it too much to expect that these gilded dilettantes might drop in to exchange experiences, learn from one another face-to-face (much more important than they think), and cease to flaunt their privileges?

Swift earnestly desires that ministers intervene to stop this nonsense. But given the record of our government in respect of working conditions in the public sector, optimistic he is not.