Starmer and Davey - separated at birth?

Members of the Conservative Party seem to Swift to have two current obsessions. One is who should lead the party, the second is whether there should be a semi-formal alliance with Reform. Both of these are tiresome. There is no vacancy at the top, and no sign that one is about to emerge. The earliest sensible time for a change would be after local elections in May 2026, and that is an eternity in politics.

Proponents of the Ribbentrop-Molotov pact, sorry the Conservative-Reform agreement, seem to Swift to neglect the bleedin’ obvious. There is no possible incentive for Nigel Farage to ally with the Conservatives, a party which he has made abundantly clear he despises and wishes to eliminate. Now, of course, history is full of surprises, as was demonstrated in 1939. It might be that a revived Conservative Party and a more sensible Reform could come together in a grand alliance nearer the next election to stop another four or five years of this catastrophic Labour operation. But the Tories have to get back in the game first.

All this blather, dear readers, distracts us from the most obvious and appealing merger currently available. Swift submits that Labour and the Liberal Democrats should tie the knot.

Of course this would be in complete contravention of the proud history of the Liberal Party. But so is the activity, nay the very existence, of Head Clown Ed Davey. Not only that. LibDem policies are so closely aligned now with socialism that they would be unrecognisable to Liberals of days gone by. Regulation, intervention, tax increases, grandmaster level wokery, environmental approaches that make Ed Miliband look almost normal (not actually normal, mind, that would be going much too far) and so on and on. Polling demonstrates that LibDem supporters are far more closely aligned to Labour attitudes than anything resembling Hayek.

Most LibDem votes are cast as a protest, so actual beliefs are a bit thin on the ground, but that ought to be a positive incentive to LibDems getting together with their blood brothers of socialism - they would actually have a genuine ideological framework to campaign on. It would be completely disastrous for Britain, of course, but better than the current wobbly blancmange that represents LibDem ‘thinking’.

Of course, a lot of LibDem members are batshit crazy, but so are Labour’s. There is a semi-moderate core to both, though, so stronger together (who invented that?) really works. So come on Keir and Ed,, get it on.

Of course, some of the maddest of the mad yellow people will be very unhappy. But guys, there’s always the Greens.