Our scribe wonders what Starmer is up to in his new White Paper

As every schoolboy used to know, it was Benjamin Disraeli who observed of an abrupt policy reversal by Peel that ‘the honourable gentleman had caught the Whigs bathing and walked away with their clothes’. Has Keir Starmer pulled the same trick with Reform after his big immigration crackdown yesterday?

Swift has his doubts. As he listened to those familiar soporific adenoidal tones – no Cicero he – droning on about reducing the numbers of legal migrants, he began to fall into a deep slumber. He was only awoken by the claim that this tough approach on migrant had been baked into the core of Labour all along.

Ahem, Sir Keir, weren’t you waving placards saying migrants welcome not so long ago? Along with your political chameleon of a Home Secretary and numerous other members of the Cabinet?

When Swift bestirred himself to look at the details he was both reassured and appalled. Reassured, for it turns out that Labour hasn’t really changed at all – there is a lot more rhetoric than substance in the new Whie Paper. The stubborn refusal to set a target of net migration might be explained by the estimates offered by independent experts which coalesce around an annual reduction of some 50,000, which isn’t really very much. Appalled, because Labour did have the opportunity to go much further, indeed urged on by the unions to which it adopts a posture of cringing obeisance on every other workplace issue.

Why was this a road not taken? Swift has some unworthy suspicions. In part, this is a concession to the Labour left, which regards any discussion of migration as tantamount to a Nuremberg Rally. More, because Labour has a increasing threat in seats where Muslim voters have already made decent inroads into its support, indeed captured a few, and where rights to bring in dependents are cherished. And finally because universities are now addicted to offering phoney degrees to underqualified students who then stay on for good.

The detail of the Starmer plan are like putting the late lamented Heath Robinson in charge of immigration policy. Sticking plaster, rubber bands, and hope.

The irony is that this won’t even work in its primary purpose of getting votes back from Reform. Reform can always out-rhetoric Labour on this, even though the details of Reform policy are (as ever) a bit on the hazy side.

The despised Conservatives at least do have a coherent plan, if anyone is listening, but they are vulnerable to the simple charge that they got this so so  this wrong when they were in power, so why should anyone listen now.? More heartfelt atonement is required before the Tories can claim this policy high ground.

Swift’s opinion is that Starmer has got the worst of all political worlds. He has been ready to wound, but not kill, the beast of migration.

He has validated Reform and merely looked slippery and dishonest.

And by again preferring words to action, he has reinforced this government’s reputation for trying to deceive the voters: witness the laser focus on growth (yeah, right) and the promised reduced energy bills (eye roll).

Starmer keeps repeating his stock response to any difficulty: further and faster. Yet like the alleged Italian tanks of yore, Labour has five reverse gears and but one forward - to escape attacks from behind, of course.